Thursday, October 8, 2009
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The waves crashed, hitting the rocks creating a loud explosion like sound. The children hiding in the old abandoned lighthouse huddled together under a ragged, dirty wool blanket. Their faces were covered in dirt. Their cheeks were beginning to sink in from lack of food. Their clothes were a few sizes too small. They kept the littlest child in the middle so he could get the most warmth. Another crash in the distance, but this time it was farther than before. One of the older kids got out from under the blanket and walked outside. The rain came down in heavy sheets, taking the dirt on her face and turning it into mud mascara tears. The rain clouds were beginning to move away from them, but she knew that they could not stay there until the rain went away. They would have to leave soon, for they were running away from the ...
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okay this is my first story i created on here. i need a title and more ideas!!
ReplyDeleteThe Storm of tears or A Storm of tears...either of those could be good titles...i think you should put it more from one of the girls perspectives instead of like a narrarator..like this " I could feel the cold sinking through my clothes into my bones, my mascera was coming off...i just couldn't help it; i know i am supposed to be strong for my sister but these tears just come involintary. I look over at my sister with her dirty face crying with me and her raggady clothes, her cheeks are starting to sink in from lack of food, i wish i could feed her. Where do we go? how am i supposed to stay strong for my sister when i don't have the strength myself?" you don't have to but it is just an idea.....now the storm could be a hurricane or flash flood or something strong enough to where they need to get out of the lighthouse and they have to run from the storm and find better shelter.....good though =)
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